My “Swan Song” for the Cancer Conversation.

This is a picture of my own personal cancer cells. It was taken almost 5 years ago. I don’t know how they are now or what they look like. The biopsy that revealed them is way too gnarly to do again.

It’s kind of more effective with the photo don’t you think? Instead of just test results, in text on paper, you have the often elusive and usually wished for, “photographic evidence”.

I am very fortunate, if you can call any cancer diagnosis fortunate. I was diagnosed with very non-aggressive form of cancer. That’s what they used to tell me at the clinics.

‘If you are going to have cancer, this is a good one to have.” Yes, except it is the number 2 cancer killer of men after lung, which is numero uno for everyone.

I am very fortunate that I was diagnosed later in life. Had this happened at 35 years old, I can’t say how it might have gone. I had already had a life beyond my wildest dreams.

My choices were, and I’m sure still are, cut or burn. Surgery or radiation. I chose neither, as I have mentioned in earlier posts. What I did instead required then, and still does, immense effort, planning, time and expense.

I’m still here, everything works, and I feel good. I just really miss a good sandwich, and brownies and ice cream. Spoiled, right?

I’ve learned a whole lot, about a whole lot of stuff. I’ve learned about diseases. I’ve learned about insurance companies, and the pharmaceutical industry… I’ve learned lots of things I didn’t want to know. Things that hurt my intelligence.

I’ve also learned a lot about people…and I’ve learned a few more things I didn’t want to know. Things that hurt my heart.

So, what does this have to do with anything? Well, I feel like my public relationship with cancer is coming to an end.

I’ve lost friends, family and acquaintances to the disease. I’ve watched my friends lose the same. And I don’t think I can continue the conversation anymore. On one hand it’s too personal, and on the other I am too far removed from my belief in American allopathic medicine when it comes to cancer.

There are some folks out there that are fighting the good fight. People who are working so hard, with much bigger audiences, to expose the truth. ‘The Truth About Cancer’, Dr. Mercola, Chris Wark and others.

They have their agendas and motives, and need to make a living, but the messages are good.

I am working on a yoga website. I will probably work this blog into that site, and focus primarily on asana, the yoga life and maybe some philosophy and practices. Until then, I will keep posting here on life and yoga, and keep you guys informed.

At the end of July this summer I will be considered, by the medical profession, a success. Why? Because, God willing, I will still be alive. Cancer is the only disease that if you are alive 5 years after diagnosis you are considered a success. It’s great for padding their so-called “success rate” statistics.

This is what it looks like to me;

I was lying in bed the other night and was overcome with gratitude for all the amazing things I’ve been given in this life. And right at the top was this body.

It has given me the complete human experience. From family and friends to art and music to all the sports and journeys and adventures. All the physical pleasures and pains, and all the emotional pleasures and pains.

And all the yoga, physical and spiritual… What a freakin’ gift!

And it has been so healthy and reliable.

When the time comes and this body says “Sorry, but I’m going to lay down for good this time.” I’m not gonna cut it, or radiate it, or poison it to try for more time.

I’m gonna say “You go bro…thank you…we did good.”